WELL I DIDN'T SEE THIS MOVE TO THE CARE CENTER COMING SO SOON. I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE A MUCH MORE GRADUAL EVENT.THE FACT OF THE INJURED HIP AND TIME AND COST ELEMENTS THINGS HAVE ESCALATED.
EVERYONE IS ASKING ME HOW I FEEL AND I I FEEL ISOLATED, SHUT DOWN, MOMENTS OF QUIET DESPERATION AND LIKE JUMPING UP AND DOWN AND SCREAMING AND PULLING OUT MY HAIR.
IT IS HARD MAKING LIFE CHANGING DECISIONS UNDER THIS KIND OF CONDITIONS. SANDRA IS VERY GOOD AT ORGANIZING AND KEEPING ME FOCUSED.
I AM GLAD SHE IS STRONG AND DECISIVE AND IT IS PROBABLY HARDER ON HER THAN ME. SHE IS VERY SWEET AT ALLOWING AS MANY CHOICES AS SHE CAN AND REMEMBERING I CAN'T CONTROL WHAT OTHER PEOPLE DO.I DIDN'T WANT OTHER PEOPLE MAULING OVER MY BELONGINGS LIKE VULTURES BUT THERE IS NO TIME OR ENERGY TO GET THINGS TO DI AND THEY DON;T PICK UP ANYMORE.
MY FRIENDS DONNIE AND JOYCE ARE GOING TO PACK UP AND SAVE SOME THINGS FOR ME AND FINISH CLEANING THE APT.
I SO DEEPLY APPRECIATE ALL OF MY DEAR FAMILY MEMBERS OFFERING THEIR HELP. IT HAS MADE ME FEEL LOVED AND CARED FOR. WE ARE FALLING OVER EACH OTHER RIGHT NOW AND WE WILL LET SOME OF YOU KNOW WHEN AND IF WE NEED HELP. IN THE MEANTIME KEEP ME AND SANDRA IN YOUR PRAYERS AND KNOW THAT THE STRENGTH THAT HAS GOTTEN ME THROUGH MY LIFE IN THE PAST IS STILL WITH ME AND I WILL GIVE A 100% AT MAKING A HAPPY AND BRIGHT SPACE FOR MYSELF AS I CAN.
Friday, March 21, 2008
I LOVE SPRING WITH ALL ITS SIGNS OF HOPE AND JOY!
Hope YOU ALL FIND JOY IN THE FLOWERS, BIRDS ,THESMELL OF ALL THE FLOWERS AND BUSHES. I HAVE SOME HEATHER AND IT HASN'T STARTED TO BLOOM BUT IT IS SO GREAT TO SMELL.
I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT CONFERENCE AND PRESIDENT MONSON AND TO HEAR WHAT HE HAS TO SAY.
WHEN I WAS HERE ON MY MISSION HE WAS TO BE OUR SPEAKER FOR CHRISTMAS DINNER. HE WAS FORTY-FIVE MINUET ES LATE AND HE LOOKED EXHAUSTED AND ILL AND HE APOLOGIZED FOR BEING LATE AND SAID SOMEONE HAD CALLED HIM AND WAS SUICIDAL SO HE HAD TO DEAL WITH THAT PERSON.
when THE EVENING WAS OVER ALL THE PEOPLE STARTED PUSHING TO GE UP TO GREAT HIM AND ONE OF MY FRIENDS WAS REALLY PUSH AND SAID "oh! COME ON UP AND i"LL INTRODUCE YOU". HE LOOKED SO TIRED i JUST COULD NOT IMPOSE ON HIM AND SO i SAID NO AND TURNED AWAY AND WENT ON OUT INTO THE HALL MYSELF AND STARTED TO LEAVE
PRESIDENT MONSON PUSHED THUR THE CROWD AND LAID HIS HAND ON MY RIGHT SHOULDER AND SAID "SISTER , THE SEALING YOU ARE CONCERNED ABOUT IS GOING TO BE ALRIGHT. " THE FEELING OF POWER AND JOY .OF BEING BLESSED IS OVER WHELMING EVEN TO THIS DAY.
SUCH PEACE AND JOY AND SENSE OF WELL BEING WAS BEYOND WORDS. I DO HAVE A TESTIMONY OF HIM. REMEMBER SAT MEETINGS TOO. HAPPY EASTER SPRING AND HOPE ALL JELLY BEAN DAYS
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Everyman hears a different drummer, whether the the beat be near or far away.
I am so amazed by my children and their different paths they have taken and everyday get excited about each wonderful grandchild and marvelous,beautiful , intelligent , humorous great grandchildren. Each soul is so wonderful and exciting.
I always tell the grandchildren "You are one of a kind..No two SNOWFLAKES ARE ALIKE AND SO YOU ARE UNIQUE.
I so appreciate each personality. Gabe's humor, Hunter the wise little owl, Alli the princes , Taylor the singer and looking forward to new Little Rhien girl.
I am thinking a lot about Julia about to start on her life's adventure. I know its hard to live the gospel ideals in your life and so often it seems we stand alone .Heavenly Father is always aware of us. and the the sacrifices we make to keep the commandments. I can't imagine the courage for all of you it has taken to go on missions go to school , get jobs get married and have families.
Julia we all know it wont always be easy but it will be exciting, rewarding and wonderful. Remember you are not alone and just one call to anyone of us and ;you will feel our love and support.
I am a lone now and not blessed with a lot of jewels and wealth but I am among the richest women on earth because of my family and because I have had to make hard decisions but the Lord is always with me and I have peace in my heart .
When I see others go helter skelter to and for I am so thankful for the peace I have found.
I wish you all courage ,faith, hope, joy in all you do and peace of mind.
Keep on marching to your own drummer. Even if it takes you to Alaska or the Olympics in Japan.
Love Grandma Marilyn